Title: office hours
Time: Saturday, April 9th at 9:00am Pacific
Listening method: Phone + Web Simulcast
To attend, visit:
http://InstantTeleseminar.com/?eventID=18938397
Phone Number: (206) 701-8388
Pin Code: 600622#

April is National Child Abuse Prevention Month. In 2009, 3.3 million reports of suspected abuse were made to Child Protective Services (CPS) agencies involving about 6 million children. Of those screened for investigation, about one-quarter or 693,174 children were found to be victims of child abuse. About 70,000 additional children were found to be the victim of abuse more than once.

• More than 1,676 children died as a result of child abuse in 2009.

• 80 percent of children who died were younger than age 4.

What is child abuse?

The Child Abuse Prevention and Treatment Act, the federal law that sets guidelines for states and allocates funding to both investigate and prevent child abuse, defines child abuse and neglect at a minimum as:

Any recent act or failure to act on the part of a parent or caretaker which results in death, serious physical or emotional harm, sexual abuse or exploitation; or an act or failure to act which presents an imminent risk of serious harm.

Each state sets its own definitions for child abuse and neglect as well as the evidence necessary to substantiate child abuse claims.

What types of abuse do children suffer?

• More than 75 percent suffered neglect

• More than 15 percent suffered physical abuse

• About 9.5 percent suffered sexual abuse; and

• About 7.6 percent suffered psychological abuse

What federal efforts are made to reduce child abuse?

Community-based grants are offered through several federal programs to help states develop, operate, expand, and enhance community-based, prevention-focused programs and activities designed to prevent child abuse and neglect. More than 3 million children received preventive services through 44 states in 2009.

Information provided by Child Care Aware.

When I coach nannies in job search skills, I have them focus on five areas: 

• personal strengths
• professional strengths
• childcare challenges
• caregiving philosophy
• possible stumbling blocks

In this post I’ll talk about personal strengths and will cover the other areas in the next few weeks.  (Remember each Monday I feature a job search tip.)

Parents look for caregivers that they like, that they trust, that they connect with. While experience and education count, your personal and professional strengths count more. Ultimately nannies get hired because of who they are, not because of what’s on their resume.

So what are your personal strengths?  I suggest you sit down and list at least 15 to 20.  Yes, you have that many.  If getting started is hard, ask a friend.  I guarantee a friend will be able to jumpstart the list without any effort.

Now for each strength, list the possible benefits to potential employers. 

So if one of your personal strengths is being a life long learner, the possible benefits might be you:

• bring a sense of wonder and curiosity to everyday experiences
• instill a love of learning that focuses on the knowledge and understanding gained, not simply finishing the assignment or getting the grade

If another strength is being highly organized, the possible benefits might be you:

• easily manage  the chaos and mess that often comes with kids
• ensure none of the small but important details of running a household falls between the cracks
• create a serene, calm environment in a hectic world

When asked about personal strengths caregivers often list things specific to being a great nanny rather than specific to being a great person.  I think so many nannies define themselves by the work they do, sometimes  it’s hard to separate the two.  Yes, you want to frame your personal strengths in terms of being a nanny but think of strengths you bring to every aspect of your life, not just nanny care. 

Why make the distinction between personal and professional strengths?  Because agencies and parents want (need) to connect with you as a person, not just as a nanny.  It’s the same reason you had to take math, history, literature, and all those other college courses that had nothing to do with your major.  The goal is to be a well-rounded person. 

And to all the nannies out there who ask me how to land those high-end jobs, listen up.  Many of the intangible characteristics parents are looking for come from personal, not professional, strengths.  So this is a step you don’t want to skip.

I’d love to hear what your personal strengths are and their possible benefits to employers.  And if you feel this information is helpful, please share it using the button below.

These accounts can be used for emergencies (e.g. we’re out of diapers!), for convenience (e.g. a milk and bread run), for running the household (e.g. stock up trip to Costco) and/or managing the family (e.g. buying school supplies, contributing to the teacher gift). 

There are 3 ways employers can handle a household account. 

Cash  The simplest way to set up a household account is to keep cash on hand.  The cash system works best when the nanny won’t often need money and when she does, will spend small amounts. 

Credit Card  Providing the nanny with a credit card is the most convenient way of setting up a household account but also offers the least amount of control over spending.  The credit card system works best for families that rely on their nanny for household / family management tasks where large or frequent purchases will be made.   

Debit Card  Providing the nanny with a debit card is a great combination of convenience and control.  Most banks offer debit cards geared towards teens that are perfect for nannies too.  Employers can transfer funds into the nanny’s account without giving her access to theirs.  Employers can receive spending and low balance alerts and customize the spending limit.  The debit card system works well for all situations.

Regardless of how the household account is set up, the nanny should keep an accurate and up-to-date balance sheet detailing deposits, spending and the current balance.  She should also keep all receipts in a central location. 

When and how the nanny spends her employer’s money can quickly become a trouble spot in the nanny/family relationship.  This is one of those areas where, unless the nanny is wildly irresponsible or the family is unrealistically frugal, there isn’t a definite right or wrong way to do things.  It’s a judgment call and the best nanny can get it wrong. 

It’s essential that the employer or the nanny takes the lead and discusses appropriate spending before the nanny accesses the household account.  This is a very personal issue and every family has their own version of “reasonable spending”.  For some families, spending an extra $15 or $20 for cut fruit is a smart, time saving move.  For other families it’s a complete waste of money.  The nanny doesn’t know which camp her employer falls into unless the family clearly lets her know what they’re comfortable with. 

Here are a few suggestions I have for successfully navigating this issue.  

Don’t make assumptions.  Just because a family spends $250 on dinner out with the kids doesn’t mean they think their nanny should do the same when she works late.  On the other hand, just because you wouldn’t spend $50 on a t-shirt doesn’t mean they won’t.  In the beginning, just ask.  You’ll quickly get to know their spending preferences. 

Don’t imply the family is cheap if they don’t spend money on things you deem important.  Yes, those wonderful learning games at Lakeshore would be a great help in teaching Johnny about sorting.  But if your employers think he doesn’t really need them, they have the right to make that decision. 

Don’t feel greedy if you insist on spending money on things you deem necessary.  It’s your employer’s money but it’s your workspace and you have an obligation to make sure it’s safe.  So if you care for a soon to be crawling infant and the kitchen isn’t baby proofed, a baby proofing kit or company is a necessity.  If you provide transportation and your charge has outgrown her car seat, a new booster seat is a necessity.  Ask for what you need.  It’s part of being a professional. 

Don’t fall into the trap of believing their money is yours.  It’s very easy when you work for an affluent family to get used to their lifestyle.  And let’s be honest, it’s one of the many bonuses of being a nanny.  Just remember, it’s not your lifestyle.  You’re simply a visitor who gets to enjoy many of the perks.  Don’t become one of those nannies who’s insulted when she’s booked in coach on her solo flight home or given cab fare rather than the use of a car service after a late night.   Be happy the basics are covered and enjoy all the extras you do get. 

So what other tips do you have?  Share your ideas in the comment section. 

I’ll cover the basics of household accounts within the nanny contract tomorrow.   

• past and present employers
• past and present coworkers in childcare positions (e.g. daycares, preschools)
• friends and relatives of past and present employers
• neighbors, play date companions, and nanny friends that have seen you interact with children
• relatives whose career or volunteer work make them respected members of their community (e.g. your aunt who is a principal at a local high school, your cousin who is head of the local Red Cross chapter)
• volunteer peers or supervisors
• leadership of local support group
• teachers, professors, guidance counselors
• priest, pastor

If at all possible, you should have a reference letter from each childcare position. If a letter isn’t possible, try to include a performance review or a letter from someone that has firsthand knowledge of your performance in the position (e.g. mom or caregiver in your regular playgroup, neighbor who often sees you outside, coworker).

Also, contact others (e.g. pastors, teachers, volunteer supervisors) that hold you in high esteem. Their opinions of you as a person, even if they’ve never seen you work as a caregiver, are important and help round out the picture you present to parents.

And don’t forget colleagues (e.g. nanny friends, co-teachers) and family members. Most job seekers don’t include letters from friends and family. Since this type of reference is so obviously biased, they feel the letter will carry little if any weight. However, the right kind of friend or family member (e.g. a nanny support group leader, an aunt that taught for 30 years) can have a huge impact on a potential employer.

How far back should your reference letters go? That depends upon how many total letters you have. If you have so many reference letters that it makes your portfolio too long (good for you!), include the most recent letters then create a “What References Are Saying About YOUR NAME” page that features the best quotes from the older letters. Make sure to have those letter available in your supporting documentation file.

Remember to check out our Nanny Training Library for more job search resources.

A group of male and female graduate nannies will be auctioned off in Beijing.  Yes, I said auctioned off.     One nanny says she loves housework and singing, and knows how to do family-style massage and fabric decorating. She could also serve as an English tutor and work for foreign households as she speaks fluent English.     You’ve got to admit, it’s one way to get a job.

I thought this was an interesting development in Australia.  Nannies, tutors and other self employed people who work with kids are required to get their own background checks.  That makes sense for self-employed people but would a similar policy for nannies help move the nanny industry forward in this country? 

10. Nannies want to be treated with respect.

Don’t treat them like hired help when they’re looking after your children day after day, essentially co-parenting while you are at work. “All in all, I just wish that employers would take the time to see that the caregivers that look after their children are people too,” said Jennifer. “No matter their social status or race.”

Don’t treat them like the hired help?  I hate to break it to the masses but nannies are the hired help.  They are hired to do a job within the household.  Yes, it’s an important job but it’s still a job.  (I won’t even comment on the implication that the hired help referred to – housekeepers, cleaners, cooks and gardeners – don’t deserve to be treated with respect.)  

So what does this have to do with the employment relationship?  A lot.

If you want to work for an employer who will treat you with respect, who will value the work you do and who will be considerate of your needs then look for an employer that treats all her employees that way.  I can pretty much guarantee that an employer who treats her housekeeper like a slave or constantly criticizes her personal assistant or barks orders at her gardener won’t treat her nanny well simply because she’s a nanny.  Bad attitudes cross job description boundaries. 

Also, remembering you’re an employee will help you successful navigate the employment relationship long term.  It doesn’t mean you can’t be your employer’s friend or your charge’s unofficial auntie.  It simply means that it’s equally important for you to establish and maintain professional boundaries and to take the personal out of employment issues. 

So do you feel you’re the hired help?  Does that have to be a bad thing?  I’d love to hear your thoughts.

However, you cannot comfortably change your core belief system and related responses simply because they’re in opposition with the parents’ beliefs. (Want me to actually DO your child’s homework for her? Think I should just ignore it when your seven year old berates me for asking him to pick up after himself because addressing it will only add fuel to the fire?? You believe beating up her little brother is a natural part of sibling rivalry and toughens up the little guy???)

If you take a job that requires you to act against your core beliefs, you’ll quickly become resentful and frustrated and most likely find yourself once again looking for a new job. If you want to work for someone that will support and appreciate your work as a nanny, you must work for someone that supports and appreciates your caregiving philosophy.

So how do you know how well you’ll match up with a prospective employer?  Through in-depth interviewing and referencing. Remember, the screening process goes both ways. The family screens you and you screen the family.

I suggest that every interview cover:

• the overall environment. What kind of environment do the parents what their children to be raised in? Relaxed or more formal?  Focused on education or learning through life experiences? What values are most important and how do they translate into everyday life?

  

• activities and scheduling. Are they home bodies or completely overscheduled? Where do school and sports fit into their priority list? How much freedom does the nanny have in planning the day?

• discipline/guidance. From expectations to communication style, it’s key to not only understand what the parents do but why they do it. The why will help you understand how the parents act in real world situations, how they’ll adapt as their children get older and how well your attitudes and approaches will fit in.

• age group specific questions. Infant, toddler, preschool and school age; each stage is very different and requires a conversation centered around that age. From when the parents think a child should give up the pacifier to sleep schedules and routines to attitudes about independence, choices and behavior.

Of course, the questions you ask during the interview should be tailored to the family. Asking the right questions, and right follow-up questions is a huge step towards finding a family that shares your caregiving philosophy.

Looking for more information?  Check out all our job search e-guides and webinars including How to Interview and Reference a Family Like a Pro.  There’s a live webinar on this topic scheduled for Sunday, April 10th at 7:30 PM Eastern / 4:30 PM Pacific. 

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